The 7 pillars of a longer, happier and wealthier life.
You are at a point in your life where you can look back and take pride in what you have built: a family, a successful business or career, a home.
You have provided for your family and created financial security. You are now looking ahead into the future.
There is only one downside: all these years spent focusing on your work and your success have taken a toll on your health.
You’ve put your health on the back burner, and now it is back lashing:
> The doctor’s orders are getting more overwhelming
> Blood work not looking good
> You don’t like what you see in the mirror
> It’s extra work and less fun to hike or bike with extra pounds
> Waking up feeling stiff and sore
You’re not performing as well as you’d like right now, feeling low energy, having trouble making decisions.
You feel old... Older in fact than you are.
You think that it sucks to get old. You ask yourself “Is this all down hill now?”
You are reminded of what you have seen at play in your parents aging: dementia, decline and dependence. You don’t want that to happen to you.
You’re afraid of cancer and want to stay clear.
You know you need to approach your health differently for a different way to age.
You want to find a method that can deliver the results now, to change the way you’re aging for good.
If that’s the case, you are in the right place!
Keep reading if you want the framework you need to approach your health for longevity and bank more healthy years, so you can:
Be with your family for years to come and see your grand kids grow up.
Travel the world and have fun with your wife: hiking, kayaking, exploring.
Stay sharp as you get older, to keep contributing, to give back and pour in at church or in your community.
Keep up physically with your grand-kids without getting out of breath or feeling weak
Reinvent yourself in post-career
So how do you achieve all of this?
You achieve all of this by bringing your health back to the forth front.
You achieve all of this by creating a lifestyle that supports longevity.
You achieve all of this with health-giving habits that compound into a longer, happier and richer life.
I have put together for you a framework, made of 7 evidence-based pillars that describe the habits of long-lived people.
Here we go.
1st pillar:
Nurture relationships
The #1 predictor of a longer happier life is the number and quality of our personal relationships.
There is no amount of healthy eating and exercise that will equate to having strong bonds with supportive people in your life.
The evidence is clear: people who are well connected to others live longer, are less sick and are more resilient when ill.
It is also protective of cognitive decline, since so much of our brain has been built on human interactions.
How to nurture health-giving relationships and build up on this first pillar of longevity:
- spend time with family and be fully present
- meet with friends regularly
- heal trauma
- volunteer
Back when I was a workaholic, I spent all my time in the lab. Including weekends. I did not devote any time to friendships or community. I did not realize it at the time but this loneliness contributed to the decline in my health, and my inability to cope at work and prevent burn out.
I know that for some of us, who love to work and are hyper-focused on success, taking time for relationships requires intentionality.
It is critical for your long-term health, your performance and your longevity that you dedicate time to being with others.
This also involves being present, and improving the quality of your relationships: making sure your teenagers can talk to you and seek your guidance or investing in your marriage such that you enjoy each other’s company and the attraction remains strong while getting older.
Nurturing relationships is not easy. Relationships can get messy. But anything you can do to invest in better relationships will bring a return: whether it’s an effort to connect, dedicating time, getting involved in communities, growing your ability to communicate with empathy or learning to control your emotions to be less reactive.
A mindfulness practice is a powerful tool to improve relationships by :
Increasing self awareness: of your triggers in relationships, of your feelings in the middle of an interaction or how you come across,
Giving you space and slowing down: to respond rather than react,
Allowing you to regulate emotions: so you can step out of conflictual situations and cool things down,
Approaching interactions more level-headed,
Letting go of expectations: so you don’t hold your partner responsible for not meeting untold expectations.
Creating a mindfulness practice is Step 1 of my program Timeless. All my clients report smoother interactions with family and improved relationships from this step (Read clients success stories here).
People with positive relationships live longer and stay younger
See From lifelong health and well being to thriving communities: How relationships impact our health and longevity for references.
2nd pillar:
Be willing to give up what harms you
Substances that age you
Smoking, drinking and eating excess sugar contribute to accelerated aging.
These life-depleting habits rob you of years of your life.
They rob you of your life by increasing the risks of life-threatening disease, accelerating your aging rate, accelerating decline, damaging your organs and your health.
I grew up with people who have spent a lifetime smoking and drinking. What I have seen?
They rob you because they take away the quality of the last years of your life: losing life force to cancer, losing your memory to cognitive decline, losing your breath to tobacco, losing your teeth to tobacco, losing your brain to alcohol,… Now that I am a parent, I don’t want my children to see this.
The earliest you can quit engaging in these behaviors, the lower your risks of developing chronic illness.
I know this may be easier said than done.
I get it. I used to smoke and drink too much.
When I was a smoker, I was well aware of the long term damage I caused myself. These are behaviors we engage in to find relief, to help us cope or to help us let loose. There are many reasons why we love doing things that hurt us in the long term.
There was a series of shifts that needed to happen for me to be able to quit, and that would be true for most people reading.
The first one is to want to. To be willing to let go of smoking. Want to make drinking an option rather than a given.
In my coaching, I facilitate these shifts, so you can quickly give up on smoking, make drinking occasional, be done with binge eating sugar and eliminate processed foods.
Men who were not overweight, had never smoked, and drank moderately were found to live an average of 11 years longer than men who were overweight, had smoked, and drank excessively. For women, the gap between these two groups was found to be even greater, at 12 years.
(Source: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/07/170720113710.htm)
2. Relationships that age you
Substances are not the only category of things that shorten our lifespan and healthspan.
Being willing to give up what harms you also includes avoiding negative relationships and replace negative self-talk or defeating thoughts with self-compassion and self-belief.
Research by Uchino and colleagues found that the number of ambivalent relationships was predictive of greater cellular aging, particularly in women, suggesting that the relationships that are not overall positive might make us age faster.
Your time on earth is too precious to spend it with negative and toxic people who can thwart your growth and age you faster. Avoid these people.
They’re your family members? Trust me, I know. Don’t feel guilty. Putting yourself and your well-being first often requires meeting new people who value health and leaving behind those who drag you down.
3. Your attention diet ages you
Be mindful of what you consume with your attention.
Attention is a scarce and precious resource. What you pay attention to grows.
Giving too much attention to things that won’t move the needle for your life can derail your plans or at least slow you down.
Playing and having fun are an important part of aging well, but they are distractions we enter in voluntarily.
Be mindful of how attention-grabbing media impact your mental health: regularly fast social media, the news cycle, latest TV shows and celebrities shenanigans. Porn is devastating for your intimacy and sexual life.
Protect your mind.
In every way the quality of your input conditions the quality of your output.
3rd pillar:
Move daily, lift heavy, elevate your heartbeat
You are probably aware that exercise is the most powerful tool that we have for our health.
If you are not very active, a daily walk to get to 5000-10,000 steps is a great place to start.
It’s been shown to promote longevity and unlike other types of exercise that require equipment, membership, teams or even guidance from a professional, walking is accessible to all at no cost.
Look for any opportunity to walk instead of using your car.
However, there are 3 age-specific mechanisms of physical decline that represent areas of focused exercise to unlock greater longevity. These are 3 key guiding principles for staying fit and strong while aging.
Muscle loss / strength training
We lose approximately 3–8% of muscle per decade after the age of 30 and this rate of decline is even higher after the age of 60.
So it’s absolutely critical for anyone over 40 to make muscle mass and strength a focus to offset this loss.
To do this:
eat a diet rich in quality protein
include strength training in your exercise
You can start with your body weight with some important foundational movements such as push ups, hang ups, pull ups, squats, lunges and progressively add more weight.
2. Flexibility, range of motion / mobility practice
Stretching and mobility type of training like yoga are also an important addition to maintain flexibility, range of motion and stability as we age.
Exercise is the best way to fix any problem with soreness, feeling achy and stiff. The more you move, the easier you move.
The research shows that consistency beats duration and intensity when it comes to increasing flexibility.
This means that instead of blocking 30 minutes to go hard on a Saturday, you're better off to stretch for 5 minutes per day every other day while making your coffee.
3. VO2 max / zone 2 training
As we age, our lung capacity also decreases. By age 80 we can lose up to 30% of our lung function.
Three ways to maintain our lungs:
- Zone 2 cardio: when you’re going just above your ability to have a conversation. Aim for 20 minutes per week to begin
- High intensity interval training: when you go for your maximum heart rate just for a few minutes, then rest, then do it again. Include one HIIT session per week if you’re starting.
- Make sure to breath from your nose. I personally tape my mouth at night to help with that and it also contributes to better sleep.
Me, crossing the finish line of my first Ride to Conquer Caner in 2014 with the Cross Cancer Institute team.
When it comes to exercise, the main goal should be to move your body every day. Here are some tips:
Pick activities that you enjoy. Find ways to make it fun.
Get together with people who are fit.
Join a club, or find an exercise-centered community
Hire a trainer or join an exercise program directed by a professional
Pick a goal for exercising that is meaningful
A few years ago, I signed up for the Ride to Conquer Cancer with my labmates: 120km in 2 days and a goal to raise $2500.
I had never been on a road-bike before. In the winter, I was at the gym on the stationary at least 3 times per week.
As soon as the weather permitted, I was riding in Edmonton’s river valley every Saturday from early morning to early afternoon. Most Saturdays, I was starting my ride still drunk from the night before (I don’t recommend this!), and was struggling to get up hills. Not to mention I was still smoking at the time.
At first, I could not get up the hills without getting off the bike. But taking those hills week after week, building the thigh muscles, I was able to go further and further up each time. Until I didn’t have to get off the bike. This was incredibly rewarding.
When I first signed up, 120 km in 2 days sounded like a huge number to me. It was challenging and intimidating.
But after training for months and completing the ride, 120 km did not seem so big anymore. Having team members who kept me accountable for those hours of riding on Saturday mornings was instrumental in my ability to accomplish this. And riding for a cause made it easier to commit.
This is the power of exercise: whether at the gym or otherwise, you get to see yourself accomplish things you never knew you were capable of.
Practice and consistency get rewarded and you constantly push the ceiling of your ability. It’s seriously addictive.
Getting started is the hardest part. Staying accountable is key.
4th pillar:
Rest and refuel properly
Our bodies need the proper amount of resting, restoring and refueling.
We can’t constantly expend energy, we need to replenish intentionally and with nutritious food.
Data showed that people in their 50s getting six hours of sleep or less were at greater risk of developing dementia later.
Sleep patterns evolve with age. As we age, It’s not uncommon to notice a much earlier wake up time. My mom is 63 and she tells me she is totally unable to sleep past 6 am.
When this happens, it doesn’t mean that we need less sleep. It means that our patterns are changing.
The earlier you learn to listen & honor the signals your body is giving you on sleepiness and alertness, the easier you can get 7 to 8 hours of sleep per night.
Follow the day/night cycle and have a consistent bedtime and wake up time.
In resting properly, it's important to include some down time. Time to relax, have fun, disengage from work, gardening, laughing with friends and family.
Research shows that in managing stress, shorter and more regular breaks are more efficient than longer ones. To manage your energy and sustain effort, it is better to make relaxation part of your daily routine rather than working to exhaustion and taking a month off in the summer.
For fueling, the impact of a healthy diet on the way we age cannot be overstated.
Diet is our #1 tool to prevent inflammation, which is linked to every chronic disease.
You can read all about the impact of what you eat on your aging rate in my blog post 5 easy-to-follow and science backed principles to make food choices that support longevity.
If you’re wondering what the best diet is for longevity, wonder no more and just grab my free guide below :
5th pillar:
Better handle stress
When it comes to age, there is your chonological age: the number of years you have been alive, and your biological age: a measure of how well your body performs.
You can be 60 years old and have a biological age that is 10 years younger. This is aging in reverse. This is what I help my clients achieve.
One of the ways to measure biological age is using an epigenetic test.
Epigenetic is the way your genes are regulated by your environment. There is a specific epigenetic signature that correlates with age, also called epigenetic aging clock (or Horvath clock) and you can now get it measured.
When looking at this clock, approximately 25% of the sites associated with it are influenced by stress. A quarter of our aging rate, has to do with stress.
Worry and stress age us faster.
Psychological stress is a major contributor to accelerated aging.
Psychological stress is also inevitable.
There is no doubt that Life will throw you some curve balls.
But the way we react to challenges, unexpected events and even tragedies is very much under our control.
In fact, you can find a lot of meaning in learning to be the kind of person who remains steady in the middle of the storms.
This in turn impacts longevity. Indeed, our emotional reactivity predicts:
- levels of inflammation (chronic inflammation is associated with every chronic disease)
- chronic health conditions
- even mortality risk.
Being able to handle stress, in an active way, is a pillar of longevity, as evidenced by the populations in the Blue zones.
In these areas, where people disproportionately live to 100 and beyond, it was observed that people show “a high level of acceptance, recovery and moving on from life’s disappointment”
One of the secret of a longer, healthier and wealthier life, is mental resilience.
To achieve that, learn to recognize your personal stress signature: the way stress manifests for you personally, so you can meet stress with a different approach.
When you’re stressed out, learn to recognize what you experience: racing thoughts, shallow breathing, irritability, trouble sleeping are commonly reported signs of stress .
For more on this topic, I have a free webinar that you can watch here:
Then develop coping skills to respond to stress in a proactive way:
Learn to step away from the situation
Use breathing techniques to quickly calm your nervous system
Do something physical to release some tension
Practice mindfulness daily
Daily mindfulness helps with feeling more calm, more grounded and approach stressful situations with a clear head instead of giving in to the feeling of panic
All my clients find that that going through my coaching program changes their approach to stressful events, thanks to the mindfulness practice they build, but also by being a lot more active.
Stress has nothing on you when you get a good work out or decide to sweat it off.
Source: Back to the future: Epigenetic clock plasticity towards healthy aging, by K. Declerck & W. Vanden Berghe. (https://doi.org/10.1016/j.mad.2018.01.002)
6th pillar:
A strong sense of purpose
It has been shown that a stronger sense of purpose in life is associated with a lower mortality risk in older adults.
Purposeful individuals also live longer than their counterparts.
Having a sense of direction and being connected to more meaning is a life source.
It’s also interesting to note that purpose moderates cognitive decline.
One study found a reduced risk of Alzheimer’s disease in adults that describes feeling a strong sense of purpose.
In their research, Giyeon Kim and colleagues. reported that older adults having a higher purpose in life showed slower trajectories of cognitive decline during the 6-year period.
I wrote a deep dive on the evidence showing How a sense of purpose can help us live a longer, happier life in a different article. In there, I have included some free resources to help you connect with your sense of purpose.
7th pillar: Financial well-being
A survey of more than 3,000 adults published in March 2022, found that 90% reported that money was a source of stress (Source: Thrive Global and the credit card Discover).
Financial well-being can be defined as “the perception that you have enough money to do what you want to do, and you don't routinely worry about money.”
If your goal is to live a longer and healthier life, you need to think about ways to support yourself financially post career.
There is some evidence that people who maintain an income generating activity post-career experience less of a physical and cognitive decline.
Approaching retirement age, it is good to consider working in some capacity.
However, the work you do could look completely different than the career you have built.
This ties into what gives you purpose. Retirement is a great time to reinvent yourself and find a different way to generate income.
Talking to a financial advisor to navigate money strategies for comfortable retirement would be best for this piece on financial well-being.
Investing in your health now and build on those pillars of longevity significantly reduces the risks of having to pay large amounts of money in health care / sick care, or have to dedicate to long term care.
Bad health adds a burden to your financial life:
The estimated lifetime cost for a senior who turns 65 between 2020 and 2024 and requires paid long-term care is $278,000
Treating type 2 diabetes can cost you up to $125,000 over your lifetime
Being overweight (which is defined as having a BMI of 25.0 to <30) will cost you an extra $524 a year, compared to people with a normal weight, mostly due to higher medical costs
People with cardiovascular disease receive about $19,000 worth of medical care each year.
Not to mention the emotional cost for you and your family.
Where do you start?
You now have a framework to approach your health to achieve longevity: a longer life, with more quality years.
I gave you the 7 pillars to longevity so you know what to build on.
But I know this may sound like a lot.
These 7 pillars are not things you must add to your already-too-long to-do list, chores or another thing that you “have” to do.
These 7 pillars are a framework for you to create the kind of lifestyle that promotes a longer and healthier life.
With my help, clients have described this as becoming second nature.
But where do you start?
These pillars are areas that you can build on at any point and for a lifetime.
To find out what requires your attention the most, I invite you to reflect on what causes the most pain in your life.
What worries you? Are you in physical or emotional pain? Do you feel lonely? Is your weight making things more difficult for you? Are your stress levels high?
Depending on the answer, you may want to start with the pillar that helps with that.
I would also invite you to consider what you are the most ready and willing to tackle and start with small steps.
The best way to know exactly where you’re at in your longevity lifestyles is to use the evidence-based assessment I have designed. It delivers a score, as well as specific recommendations for you.
Your personalized longevity roadmap includes:
a 25-minute questionnaire to assess your current habits
a 1 hour call with me to discuss your results
a full report with specific recommendations to you
a proposal for your personalized coaching program.
So you can tell if you’re on the right path. And if you’re not, I will offer some suggestions on course correction. Interested? Use the link below:
